coming off the metro today, i ran into jews for jesus.
no, literally. the woman in front of me was walking so slow that as i weaved to escape stepping on her heels again, i walked smack into the jews for jesus guy.
after we both apologized for the run-in, i noticed the big letters on his yellow shirt that read: JEWS FOR JESUS. upon noticing my brown curly hair, pale complexion and tiffanys jewelry, he ID-ed me appropriately as well.
i politely took the pamphlet he offered me entitled: "joshua saves!"
i was saved from further conversation by pretending i couldn't hear anything due to the blaring music from my ipod.
jews for jesus has always been a conundrum in the jewish community, yet the overwhelming majority rejects the movement. while in college during my earlier twenties, jews for jesus christened st. louis for a month. they hung a huge banner in the student union that read: "jesus made me kosher." all of a sudden, the st. louis jewish community wanted to know how the college students would defend themselves from the oxymoronic "jews."
religious identity is a difficult and daunting concept during your twenties. who has time to ponder the existence of god when you have to get to class or get to work, pay your bills, feed yourself, plan the rest of your life, and find time to occasionally sleep?
anyway, i flipped through the "joshua saves!" pamphlet when i finally sat down.
i mean, as far as i know, joshua saves. josh saves the money my parents give to him. josh saves weekends for sailing. josh also saves porn on his computer. yep. my little brother josh saves alright.
don't get me wrong: i have nothing against mainstream christianity or jesus. but i do have a bone to pick with jews for jesus. if they're going to beat around the bush in the language they use to proselytize jews, they shouldn't have chosen a name for the group that is so direct and to the point.
but in keeping with their spirits, here is a short list of morally equivalent names:
vegetarians for meat
virgins for fucking
lesbians for boyfriends
frat boys for prohibition
pro-lifers for abortion
benedictine monks for chat rooms
mormons for monogamy (this one has nice alliteration too)
feel free to add accordingly.
ps: dear god, if you're reading this, my jewish boyfriend eats ham and cheese sandwiches. just thought you should know.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
oxy-Morons
Posted by: DBR @ 4:30 PM
Ham and cheese isn't kosher?
benedictine monks for chat rooms
For sure this is my favorite alto I will admit a marvelous genitic sense of humor
I object to many things stated within said post as well as those stated previously.
What the hell?? I don't sail...and as far as I know your parents haven't given me any money since the beginning of your freshman year when they paid me off to be your friend for the rest of your college experience...
Finally, although it is in response to a previous post, I think we should leave the Supreme Court judgeships to Harvard and Yale grads, because besides being judges the only thing they are qualified for is being Law School Professors. Remember, Harvard and Yale Law grad need jobs too...
ps why is it so friggin difficult to create a username for this thing.
JBI
I discovered your blog through E. Webscapes. If you ever get a chance to read this book, Girl Meets God by Lauren Winner, I think you'll really enjoy it. She makes many good points about the Jewish heritage and her discoveries.
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