Wednesday, August 17, 2005
like mike
in tribute to this blog being a venue for venting as well as an opportunity for education, here is a poem as it was performed on hbo def poetry jam.

"Like"
(c) 2004 Mike McGee (
www.MikeMcGee.net)

I like you the way I like my wonton packed full of shrimp
Like too much syrup on my pancakes (and in my beard)
Like Mr. Furly enjoyed eavesdropping through kitchen doors
Like blue whales like to say, "Hrrrreeeeeewhuuuuuuhhhwwoooaaauuuhh."

I like you a whole bunch of a lot
You're a pocket full of awesome

I like you not unlike Aaron Neville likes his mole
Like Texans like Texas
Like fat kids like cake
Like two likes three and four likes six (five has issues)
Like tuna sandwiches like teeth
Like cherry flavored Slurpees like to wash down convenience store nachos
Like La-Z-Boys like Sunday afternoon asses

I like you whole bunch of a lot and a little bit more
You're a bottomless basket of extra crispy French fries covered in awesome sauce

I like you similar to the way pirates and frat boys like booty
Like newlyweds like Holiday Inns
Like bohemians, yuppies and Japanese like sushi

Like David Copperfield likes performing grand scale, yet, lame-assfeats of illusion
Like the U.S. Government likes performing grand scale, yet, lame-assfeats of illusion

Like testicles and homeboys like to hang
Like homeless people and breakdancers like cardboard
Like Americans like ranch dressing
Like Muppets like fisting

I like you a whole bunch of a lot a whole lot more times infinity
Maybe that's starting to dip into equation of love
Nevertheless, I got a thing for you like magnets got it for refrigerators
I'm stuck on you and I like it

I like you an official metric fuckload
I think you're a body full of soul and I hope you like me back
Even if it's like dust likes furniture, at least you're all over me

I'm making a "pledge" because I guess I'm tired of meeting people
who define themselves by what they don't like
I just don't like that

However, I do like holding you
The way your pillow holds your head when you sleep
The way gay, lesbian, transgender, transsexual, Irish and Mexican people hold parades
The way PBS holds fundraisers
The way the Earth holds the moon and the sun holds the Earth and how they'll constantly spin around each other forever…and even though thatmetaphor doesn't really make sense with regard to this poem becausethat would imply that there were three of us
(which would also be awesome!)

You get the idea

In my book you rock, and I like rocks
and just because I spent an hour
or so writing this down doesn't mean you have to like me back,
but dammit,
I would really like that
Posted by: DBR @ 12:15 PM  
4 Comments:
At 11:24 AM, Blogger BossMack said...   

You are quite tha creative bitch, you kind a square tho, I still like your writing. Keep doing tha damn thang.


At 11:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...   

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Okay kids, Bluetooth is officially the new USB. We want to see absolutely everything that can possibly be Bluetooth-enabled, k? Here's a good start: the Bluetooth Star Trek Barbie.
Great blog, keep up the good work! I will bookmark it and come back again soon.
I have a a credit site/blog that is related to credit stuff.
Check it out if you have time!


At 11:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...   

Cool blog...I was online today surfing blogs for information on downloading movies and ended up here. No idea why...since I enjoyed your post :) I thought I'd drop you a line and I bookmarked your site to visit again!

And, if you're ever looking to download movies stop over and visit, okay?


At 2:28 PM, Blogger Black Eyed Gurl said...   

I LOVE this poem. I LOVE you for bringing it to my attention. I also love that you are a Twenty-nothing. I'm at the ass end of my Twenty-nothings and I gotta tell you, the quarter life crises is soooo real. Good luck with your book, check out my blog if you are exceptionally bored!


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daniela rodriguez is a nice latina girl from miami, florida by way of both st. louis, missouri (where she stopped by for a couple years to get an education but mostly learned to play beer-pong) and washington, dc (where she stopped by for a couple years to change the world but only worked for nonprofits). daniela left her self-masochistic profession to pursue a morally-masochistic dual degree in lying and cheating (read: law and business) at one of those smaller, unheard of universities in boston. in addition to spending much of her time taking and teaching professional grad school admission tests, daniela also passes her time with jack bauer, alton brown, jon stewart, and the cast of law and order.

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when i was 23, i began writing a book called "twenty-nothing: what it's really like to be twenty-something in the twenty-first century." at the time, an agent told me to start a blog to "gain a following" (whatever that means) and to "test my ideas."

more than three years later, there's still no book, but twenty-nothing.com continues to evolve. after all, if the washingtonienne can blog about her about promiscuity and then publish a book with cleavage on the front cover, then so can i.

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TINA: so i was talking to a friend

TINA: and he was tellingl me how he once dated a girl

TINA: who liked strawberries mixed with sperm

TINA: WTF

ME: um. that's awesome and absolutely gross.

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GABE: if you want to mask who you are, try "non-sex-crazed under-achiever"

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