yesterday was the epitome of all mondays.
i got to the curb in time to catch the bus, which proceeded to drive right past me. the metro was overpacked. and i knew that even after working a full day dealing with morons, i still had to teach lsat class to a bunch of capitol hill staffers until 10pm.
anticipating one of those days where you sit down at 9am and work straight through but never really get anything accomplished, i decide to dress comfortably enough to accommodate numb legs from over-sitting, but to "dress up" enough to barely pass as business casual for teaching.
when i got to work at 8:55am, the office manager told me that i would have to attend a conference being hosted by one of our board members. my first attempt to get out of it was "but i have a lot to do today." apparently, colleagues have noticed that i do crossword puzzles and sudokus at my desk.
my second attempt was "but i don't want to go." he told me that i could thumb wrestle or play rock, scissors, paper with a coworker to work it out. knowing my own weaknesses, i vied for a final excuse.
"but i'm not appropriately dressssssed," i whined.
really, i wasn't. i was in see-through white capris (known as "stupid pants" in my house), a black t-shirt, and a corduroy jacket i got at nordstrom's anniversary sale. and my black flip flops. it is now mid-september, and i am pleased to report that have worn sneakers exactly once since the beginning of may. and i only wore them because i went to six flags, and everyone knows you can't wear flip flops on rollercoasters.
"you're fine," the office manager assured me.
so i went. i guess that makes me a pushover. or a sucker. but at least i don't have braces. sorry spirer.
when i got to the conference, our board member was greeting participants at the door. we shook hands (firmly with the arm grab like i was taught) when i approached. he gave me the once over.
"my, my," he said. "i see you got dressed up to see me."
it takes a lot to embarrass me but that just about did it. i replied with some stumbling response that i can't even remember now and slipped out of the conference as soon as i could.
but the incident has left me a little distraught. i love nice clothes. i own more pairs of shoes than i'll ever admit to. so why the hell do i insist on wearing my reef flip flops ... even when i wear suits? and why do i continue to dress like an abercrombie advertisement even though i'm so clearly beyond the age when it's okay to do so?
i suppose that conventional psychology tells us that the manner in which we dress is a nonverbal cue about our personality. but if that were truly the case, then i'd be dressed in something that espouses some mix of anal retentiveness, overachiever and drama queen. a black silk pants suit with diamond buttons and a las vegas headdress maybe?
(you're only laughing because you can actually picture me wearing that.)
but in terms of dressing like an adult, wearing black pants makes me cringe since the days when i learned to associate black pants with snobby girls (see gabe roth's article in stud life from 2002: black pants and other S40 endeavors). and i have always hated suits; i feel like a football player when i wear them. but whenever i dress-to-if-i'm-lucky-impress, it's important for me to incorporate a little "debbie" (and not the snack cake): like when i wear my pinstriped pantsuit, i pair it with a lacy tanktop that unequivocally states "all-business on the outside; all woman on the inside."
but day to day, my take on business dress code is "wear what you can get away with." come to think of it, maybe that says something about my personality too.
i don't know why i can't shake my adolescent-flavored gear. maybe i'm of a generation where fashion is meant as a vehicle for social competition, not for business deals. or maybe it's just me. maybe i'll grow out of it and grow into someone else's shoes. literally.
the one thing i am sure of is that when i am ceo of whatever corporation or am executive director of whatever nonprofit or own my own consulting whatever firm, there will be only one dresscode rule:
when we're seeing clients, you have to wear clothes. otherwise, use your best judgment.
because you can bet i'll still be wearing flip flops.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
dressed to kill ... someone
Posted by: DBR @ 3:15 PM
yayyy!!! i'm dedicating this entry to me since i encouraged debbie to update her blog (and because i'm horribly modest).
i love your policy on dress code. i hope you will use it at a jewish organization some day. (please note that some federations actually require PANTY HOSE. like they have a PANTY HOSE POLICY. because there aren't more important things to have policies about)
here's to flip flops!
Humorous... especially since the dress code at my job is "when customers are present, you must wear clothes."
Love the shout-outs! Your blog rocks. Mine (gabrielroth.blogspot.com) is mediocre and doesn't even get so many hits....I will surely endorse your book.
-g
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