i am completely, without a doubt, 100%, overwhelmed, underwhelmed, frustrated, upset and on the verge of tears.
tonight i attended an mba event hosted by some little ivy league university that no one has probably ever heard of. the idea was for the school to discuss its program and the few minor requirements for admission: you know, a 7 million on the gmat, a 3.99 gpa and a life tragedy that makes you unique.
so in addition to feeling completely miserable, now i'm inadequate too.
turns out that having a good gpa, a solid gmat score and applying hispanic isn't enough to get me into business school. if only the world was that shallow...
so it comes down to this: either i'm just really messed up or a lot of twenty-somethings do a good job pretending like they know what they want to do with the rest of their lives.
the admissions guy told us that schools want to know what we plan to do with the degree in the short term and the long run. are they kidding? i don't know what i'm doing tomorrow night.
fortunately, i remembered to dust off my suit this morning (although i forgot to use the lint roller so i might have still had remnants of cat hair), which helped me feel like i played the role of stuffy business school student. i also remembered to drag around a copy of the wall street journal (which i get for free) all day and strategically read it as we were waiting for the session to begin. brilliant. i assumed they would see that and accept me on the spot.
except that 4 other prospectives were reading it too. assholes.
it was my idea first.
i tried really hard to pay attention as the guy was talking about how great the program at his no-name school is, but just couldn't (this does not bode well for grad school). i kept staring down at the sudoku puzzle that i didn't have time to do earlier in the day (this work thing is killing me). after peeking down and looking up and peeking down and looking up and peeking down and looking up, trying to appear interested while doing the sudoku in my head, i decided to screw pretending and did the puzzle. i'm glad he talked for a while because it was a "hard" one -- a triple jedi ninja as it would have been rated in chicago's newspapers.
we were given the opportunity to stick around and talk to some alumni after the session had ended. as i looked around the room, i realized that despite all the shit i talk about being excited to go back to school(s), the thought of starting over -- making friends and making small talk with a lot of law school nerds and business school egos -- makes me nauseous. push comes to shove (don't tell anyone): i'm shy. i waited until 5 other kids left the room before i slipped out the door.
i ran into the kid the kid i randomly sat next to at the session in the elevator at my apartment. and he lives on the same floor as me. either it was one of those fabulous life coincidences ... or i was being stalked.
and as i sit here, i realize that i've been complaining about applications for over a month now, and really, i'm not any further along. for the first time in my life, i'm literally paralyzed with fear.
after tonight's single-school fiasco, guess who's excited for the mba fair next week with over 400 schools in attendance?
... thank g-d i haven't attended any law school information sessions.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
my mba-fair lady
Posted by: DBR @ 10:45 PM
I did a Sudoku on the bus today (yay first day of school/first first day of school ever involving a bus!) and it was only two ninjas. I finished it, or so I thought, but in the last square left, I had to put a 5, but there was already a 5 in the row! Noooooo! I think you write a blog about that.
-g
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