the thing about being twenty-something is that it's just as easy to lead a conference call with a half-dozen of the top lawyers in the city to discuss the execution of a communications strategy (which i did yesterday morning) as it is to instigate chair races down the halls at work (which i did yesterday afternoon). for me at least, it's a struggle between maintaining this "air of professionalism" with this "yen to be young."

i met with my hero (the jewish latino legislative consultant with business and law degrees -- ::sigh::) to get some advice about applying to grad schools. he offered some of the kindest and most insightful compliments to me (perhaps my mom paid him to?). i was just looking for an offer to read my personal statement and nine business school essays. instead, he decided he would use the opportunity for a pep talk: "debbie, you're mature beyond your years. but you don't have an old soul. you have a fire about you. anyone can see that."

i think that was supposed to be an admiring comment. unless, by using the word fire, he was insinuating that i was about to go up in flames. or my applications were. if you ask me, probably both.

but it begs the question (pre-law jargon), where is the balance between acting twice my age and half my age?

i'll have a diet coke with my cosi salad, as long as i can have a burping contest afterwards.

i'm happy to watch 20/20, as long as i can watch "pinky and the brain" occasionally. narf.

i don't mind wearing a suit, as long as i can wear something lacey and see-through underneath.

i love pointy shoes, as long as i carry around a pair of reefs for when i actually have to walk.

i know i'm supposed to wear a thong, as long as they can loud, obnoxious colors.

i don't care if i have to have a grown-up-looking room, as long as i can keep my stuffed animals on the bed.

i suppose i can learn to blow out my hair, as long as i can wear pigtail braids sometimes too.

i'm okay with living in a different city as my family, as long as i get to see my parents and siblings ... often.

i like wearing grown up clothes, as long as i can play dress up in my mom's 80's clothes with my sister.

you know what else i realized this morning? when you're twenty-something, you still have the food cravings of a kid, but you also get to do your own grocery shopping. right now, sitting on my kitchen counter i have: a half-eaten bag of doritos, a tub of different flavor chocolates, two bags of candy corn, a carton of liquor-filled chocolates (the ones that are shaped into a mini bottle and have a shot of liqueurs), and a vat of honey-roasted peanuts. and that's just because those things wouldn't fit in the pantry above ... which is filled with equally delicious "adult" foods).

so when am i supposed to give up these vices? is there a time when it's really not okay to leave my stuffed bunny on the bed? when it's not okay to cry in front of your boss?

where and when am i supposed to stop watching "the real world" end and living in the real world?