"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar." -Drew Carey
i am "lucky" (lucky?) enough to "work" (work?) for two groups: an organization that does meaningful social justice work and a legislative consulting firm (run by a hispanic jewish gentleman with a dual law and business degree; he's my hero) that was brought on board to help rethink the organization's public relations approach.
when i began my job, i quickly learned that i would ultimately have to pick a team to side with in disagreements. because let's be honest, there is never agreement when it comes to nonprofits; someone always leaves the battlefield with a hurt ego. it's the cardinal rule. except in jewish organizations. then it's the rule of rabbi. we don't have cardinals.
anyway.
at first, i chose to side with the executive director, not because i thought she was right, but because strategically, i hoped to paint the consulting group as unnecessary, get them fired, take on the communications myself and earn my ass a huge raise.
i soon learned that i was playing for the wrong team.
at work, at least.
because at my job, i do not work for the communications department; i am the communications department. and somehow, i'm expected to execute an entire department's effort alone. the consulting group is my primary friend and ally.
somehow, i am expected to do my job and everyone else's. i now write opeds, press releases, newsletters, internal communication updates, grant applications, fundraising materials, advocacy manuals and emails to the board of directors and donors. but only when i'm not redesigning the website, recreating the self-promotion materials, getting speaking gigs at conferences, and setting up newspaper editorial board meetings.
they mistakenly thought that i was superhuman and invincible when they hired me. now i'm paying dearly for my shortcomings.
so i was completely caught off guard when i was asked the ultimate question last week:
"assume it were more manageable -- do you enjoy your job?"
yes.
well, actually. no.
yes.
no.
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. maybe?
okay really, does anyone?
i guess this question plays into a much bigger question: am i ever going to find a job that makes me happy?
i mean, i know what i like. but i also heard that it's illegal to be paid to do that. maybe i can do that "pro bono" -- if you know what i mean. ::wink:wink::
between you, me, and the however many other people who read this blog, i think i have found something that i actually like to do: i love to write. unfortunately, i'm not sure how a law or business or dual degree will help me, but we'll pretend like they do. otherwise, it means i have to take another grad school admissions test, and i don't think i can afford anymore test-prep classes. even if i do turn around and teach it.
i get up every morning and ask what i'm going to blog about. i fall asleep every night wondering what i'll blog about the next day. i have considered walking around with a reporter's notebook so i can write whenever the urge strikes. this makes eric (my boyfriend) extremely nervous. especially when i begin to furiously scribble on available scrap paper after he has done or said something extraordinarily stupid. fortunately (for him), there is a lag time in which compassion usually overcomes me.
it's just that i like to explore the issues that we're all thinking about, bring them to the surface, bitch about them and hope other people commiserate with me. it's a little like group therapy. except i'm talking to myself. which i suppose is actually grounds for individual therapy.
"i admit it's tempting to wish for the perfect boss ... or the perfect outfit. but maybe the best any of us can do is not quit, play the hand we've been dealt, and accessorize what we've got."
in the meantime, i'll just pretend no one ever asked me the million dollar question and continue complaining about my job.
i guess that's why it's called "work."
and i guess that's why there's alcohol at this thing called "happy hour."
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
wrong question, the write stuff
Posted by: DBR @ 12:00 PM
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