i didn't mean to be … it kind of happened by accident. (good going debb; nothing like making serious life choices based on chance.)

i was looking for a job when i graduated college that combined my knowledge for the nonprofit world with my blood-sucking instinct to make money in the forprofit world. which is how i found 2852; or rather, how 2852 found me.

(2852 is code name for my old job. it's not just an address, it's a way of life for anyone who once worked there.)

apparently, they did communications and public relations. and now i do too.

if they had done arthroscopic surgery or crepe making, i'd do that now too.

but i guess we all learn to live with our choices.

fortunately, they didn't do hair removal. at least not on purpose.

the way in which people communicate has always fascinated me. maybe it's because i grew up in a bilingual city. maybe it's because i didn't speak for the first time until i was two and a half (and haven't stopped since). or maybe it's because i've convinced myself that i've "always" been fascinated by communication because that's what i've told every law school in my personal statement.

no matter. now, like i said, it has "always" fascinated me.

these days, communication is fast, cheap, and easy. like mcdonalds. and a handful of girls i knew in high school.

the fact that i “do” communication is kind of paradoxical for people like my exboyfriend, former friends, and most of the acquaintances who know me. the truth is i … am … not such a … good … communicator. i don't like to talk about my feelings (okay, well i guess i'm starting to with the production of my book), i sweep animosity under the rug and i hate small talk.

but give me 20 minutes to whip out a press release. maybe 25 to make some pitch calls. and 30 to think through brand management. turns out that i may not be good at all parts of this job, but some of it i "get," not just because i've learned it on the job (i haven't), but because some of this communications crap doesn't require academia.

branding, communications and public relations is sexist, classist, ageist, capitalist, and emotionally-based. and that’s probably why i’m good at it.

let me give you an example:

put this aqua-marine box in front of any girl and tell her to just ignore it. stay calm.

... are you fucking kidding? no way in hell.

or ask any guy how fast a ferrari goes (about 200 miles an hour), and then ask how fast the average speed limit is in the city or in a residential area. so tell me again why you want a ferrari?
get it?

that's communications. unfortunately, i don't do communications for either tiffanys or ferrari, and it's probably because i don't talk about my feelings.

and i guess that’s how i wound up writing opeds about nonprofit franchising, personal feature stories of lawyers with huge egos, and planned giving brochures.

you know what i want? i want someone to pay me to tell them how twenty-somethings function, feel and fornicate. if the washingtonienne can do it and aaron karo can do it (by the way. yes, i know he exists. and yes, i’ve seen his ruminations. and yes, everytime he sends out an email, someone forwards it to me with a note that reads, “have you ever seen this?” and no, i’m not trying to compete with him, but if anyone can get him to endorse this blog or my budding authorship or send me a personal email, i will give him/her a percentage of my profits and/or dedicate my first book to him/her; consider it a challenge), then why can’t i?

guess sometimes those accidental twists of fate are what separates the twenty-somethings who “make it” and those of us stuck with a blog and 30 grad school applications.

and maybe that's what life is about. the intersection of the series of choices we make by accident and the series of events that happen to us by accident.