it's monday morning.

inevitably, someone is going to ask me how my weekend was.

(in fact, deion already has)

and i'm not sure what to say. because really ... it sucked. but you know you can't say that. so instead, i'll probably say "it was great!"

but if someone asks me "well what did you do?" either i have to start lying or i have to admit i was lying when i said it was great.

instead of sitting for 9 hours a day at my computer at work, i sat for longer than that on both saturday and sunday at my computer at home. and here's what i have to report: i've submitted 3 applications within 24-hours of each deadline to two small business schools that no one has probably ever heard of (whar-something and harv-something) and one of the most selective law schools in the country.

and now that they're submitted, i've found typos in each. good going, captain screw-up. nothing like putting you're best foot forward (sic).

i'm kicking myself because i forgot to mention these little latin phi beta kappa and summa cum laude thingies -- and all my summer internships. nothing like working my ass off to earn those titles to forget them. so as far as i know, some admission committee will be sitting around the table and the conversation will go something like this:

"well her grades are good."

"her scores are fine."

"she does have professional experience at two companies we've never heard of. think she made them up?"

"and what the hell did she do during her undergraduate summers?"

"why the hell did she write a thesis in abnormal psychology [which is a question gabe has been asking for years]?"

"well, this other jewish-hispanic candidate from a different wannabe-ivy-league-school with good grades and fine scores at least has summer internships. let's accept her instead."

i'm fucked. i really am.

"debbie, you're going to get in somewhere."

**newsflash**newsflash**newsflash**

i don't want to get in somewhere. i want to get in everywhere.

well, at least somewhere good.

by the way, how come law school applications are an average of $70-$90 to submit and business school applications are about $200 a piece? think someone should tell the law school admissions people that the business school education proves itself worthy by being able to inflate its price without losing demand?

someone reminded me of the quote: "whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger."

somehow, i don't think that whoever said it had grad school applications in mind. because as far as i can tell one of two things is going to happen: 1) they will kill me; or 2) there is no way in hell i'm going to be any stronger when they're over.

so in short, my weekend sucked.

although, to be fair, i did attend "club lost" on friday and saturday evenings. and by "club lost" i mean eric-and-i-bought-the-whole-first-season-of-lost and-are-watching-the-entire-thing-so-we-can-start to-watch-season-two-on-tv.

as i was sitting there on saturday evening sipping reisling wine while my friends were at bars chugging beer, it hit me.

jisaacs was right.

i do suck at life.

i don't like staying up past 11 on weeknights or going clubbing on weekends. i don't like drinking to get drunk (unless i'm at a wedding) or drinking anything that tastes gross. i don't like fried foods or fast food. my idea of fun is going to costco and whole foods. and i'd rather watch tv in my pajamas than almost anything else.

by no stretch of the imagination, i just went from being 23 to acting 45. (i can only hope that i'll grow out of this and de-mature once i to back school.)

and these applications are causing me so much stress that there is a 50/50 chance that i'll arrive on my first day of grad school with a full head of gray hair.

so really, how was your weekend?