there are many tough decisions we have to make as we grow older.

how much education must we pay for to feel adequate in the world? (in my case ... well ...)

who are our friends - our real friends - and who will be there when we actually need them?

what is the balance between work and play? (balance you say?)

harvard or wharton?

(just kidding. neither has accepted me. but both were fooled into inviting me to interview. haha. i mean, i am prepared to be rejected from schools - but only if i can be rejected from the best schools in this country.)

and yet, one of the toughest decisions a woman has to make when she grows up is whether or not to keep her name.

my sister, for instance, has decided to keep her name professionally, but adopt her soon-to-be-finace-but-can't-say-finance-yet-
because-it-is-bad-luck-so-just-her-boyfriends last name socially. makes sense. nice balance.

as for me, well ... uhhhh. haven't thought about it. as a younger-twenty-something who isn't ready to tie the noose ... i mean, knot, i have a bigger decision to make:

do i want to be debbie or debra beth?

perhaps raising this question in a public setting is slightly self-serving, but as i have been discussing it with friends and coworkers, i realize this is something a lot of young professionals think about. identity development at its very core. (and excellent narcissism too.)

names are extraordinarily important. i found this one website that said: [names are] how you identify yourself. it is how others identify you. the more insight you have into the powerful influence of your name, the greater opportunity to enjoy the success you are capable of achieving.

holy crap. i had no idea that my entire fate is based on understanding the influence of my name. if i had only known, i would be going to graduate school in typography, not jurisprudence. (do you think there is a grad school admissions test for that? if so, i would love to take it. and teach it too.)

growing up, i was always debra. having never been called anything but debra before in my life, i was four years-old in a department store with my mom when a nice woman asked me what my name was.

sassily, my reply was simple: debbie.

and from that day forward, i was always debbie. but when i got to college, i decided that professionally and formally, i was going back to debra. debra beth, to be exact.

unfortunately, it never stuck. despite my best efforts, my sassiness at the young age of four has forever beleaguered me.

(i don't really know what beleaguered means but it's some fabulous synonym for plagued that i just found and encourage you all to use three times today.)

curious, i did a search on the meaning of the names debbie and debra. just to see what stupid powerful influence they were talking about.

debra: your first name debra has given you a responsible, expressive, inspirational, and friendly personality. (friendly?) expression comes naturally to you and you are rarely at a loss for words; in fact, you have to put forth effort at times to curb an over-active tongue. (wrote my whole personal statement on that. why could they not tell me that before i spent two months writing it?). self-confidence has made it easy for you to meet people and you are well-liked for your spontaneous ways. (what self-confidence? and i am spontaneous ... when i plan in advance to be.)

debbie: the name debbie creates a dual nature in that you can be very generous and understanding, but you can also be so candid in your expression that you create misunderstanding. (truth) difficulty in accepting advice or admitting that you may have made a mistake causes you to appear to be stubborn and set in your ways. (woops. accidentally did a search on a different name ... nevermind.) even though the name debbie creates the urge to be artistically creative and original, we emphasize that it causes an emotional intensity that is hard to control. (speaks highly of my pms.) this name, when combined with the last name, can frustrate happiness, contentment, and success (wtf?).

anyway.

so here i am. a young professional - faced with all the huge decisions that every maturing kid has to make - and i can't make a decision on anything. i can't even pick one grad school to attend. (so i'm going to two.) and when i finally made a decision about my name, i could not even make it succeed. so i'm stuck with one of the only nicknames in this world that is actually longer than my formal name.

... for the time being, i'm okay with that.

daniela rodriguez, young professional and over-achieving student. has a nice ring to it. makes sense. nice balance.

but i am going back to debra one day. debra beth, esquire jd/mba, that is.