i've always wanted to be a rock star.

but due to my vast lack of any special talent (save for the tongue trick and hitchhikers thumb), i have consequently been forced to work with the skill set i actually do have. which boils down to one thing: anal-retentiveness.

okay. two things. anal-retentiveness and some form of academic agility.

other than that, i'm more-or-less useless. just ask my former boss.

last weekend, i was forced to go through some of my earlier posts to reformat the fabulous blog technology i purchased back in september which doesn't register apostrophes in certain fonts. georgia? 'bring it on. times new roman? forgettabout’ it. (see?!)

as i looked back through some earlier ruminations, i noticed that i paid quite a few tributes and disservices to a handful of graduate schools. and i maintain the shit-talking i did.

but only about wharton. and i'd like to now add all competitive schools in chicago to my ill-fated feelings.

somewhere in between writing a personal statement, filling out 27 applications, and effectively planning and executing the use of "profound," "concretize," and "leverage" in my business school interviews, this-little-business-school-in-boston-that-no-one's-ever-heard-of accepted me. and so did a small handful of other schools. i have, admittedly, been very fortunate.

the schools that mistakenly accepted me have not.

harvard business school, it turns out, is ... well ... okay by me. but my judgment about the law school -- which, once made, will remain forever engrained and applicable to all character references about friends and family -- remains uncertain.

and although spi and gabe, deion and cheeks will no doubt roll their eyes in abhorrence, i have quickly learned that being accepted to some harvard institution actually comes with unfair and unwarranted stigmas. naturally, while my parents beamed and called every friend, co-worker, and colombian in the family to share the news, gabe did not hesitate to inform me that i was a perfect snob for the stuck-up people at harvard.

now i am a lot of things.
i am loud.
inappropriate.
sexual.
competitive.
aggressive.
compulsive.
argumentative.
and not necessarily in the order.

but. i. am. not. a. snob.

i just like a pedicure occasionally. but for medical reasons obviously.

and while i swore i would never go to harvard ... well ... it's harvard.

and although i have been graced with the scarlet (crimson?) h, i have also become damn good at rejection. so if anyone needs any advice on how to create color-coded dartboards that defame schools which claim to "have a more competitive applicant pool than ever before" in order to adeptly reject you, i have templates available upon request.

but the part of the application process which i hadn't planned for is about to make me a nerd-rock-star: i'm going on tour. for the next 6 or 7 weekends, i'll be in some major city other than my own: san diego, miami, new york, boston, michigan, philadelphia. i think i have a "by" between michigan and philadelphia, but i learned yesterday that new haven is on standby. (so if you live in any of those cities, let me know.)

i'm not really sure how my full time and part time jobs fit into the schedule, but extra-curricular over-commitment has never phased me. commitment, on the other hand ...

let's just say that when it comes time to make a decision, being loud, inappropriate, sexual, competitive, aggressive, compulsive, and argumentative won't be nearly as helpful as if i were just snobby.

guess we all have our shortcomings.

for the time being, i'm utilizing the skill set i do have ... by color-coding travel itineraries.