i have my last first-semester business school final in the morning; tomorrow, my arch nemesis and i meet.

face to face.
spreadsheet to spreadsheet.

just me, beta, and a statement of free cash flows. a menage-a-trois, if you will. (except that chances are good that i'll have no idea idea what's going on.) and as such, i'm having a full-on panic attack tonight. because, obviously, when in doubt, the most effective thing to do is completely paralyze one's self from anything productive.

about two weeks ago, before this final meyham started, i attended a session on taking harvard business school finals. when i went back to review my notes this evening, i realized that this information was too valuable to not share. i like to think of it as me distributing the benefits associated with the $600/day i spend at school.

so as before i dive back into multiples, NOLs, and discount rates (fear not, i have no friggen clue what any of that crap is either), here are:

daniela's notes on taking harvard business school finals
(by the way, these are the notes -- uneditted -- i really took at the session.)

the main question: why?
need to answer: how?
please also describe in the first 150 words "what is the meaning of life."

overall strategy:

• don't give long case summaries. longer isn't always better. except in bed.
  
• the final exam is a decision, so be sure to take a position ( i.e. missionary.)
• just choose whatever position you want. but don't plan to switch half-way through.
  
• uses evidence-based arguments to persuade other party to get involved in previously stated position.
• your position statement should be expressed in two sentences. if it takes you longer than that to get her in bed, she isn't worth your time, anyway.
• be upfront about your position. lie if you need to.
• use an argument. you know woman like the argue.
• each point should be supported with size-estimates. particularly if you are talking about growth or reduction.
  

decision-based finals
-- your options are sometimes explicitly stated, but when they aren't, look for insinuations.
-- hunt for what you want ("the options").
-- "the magic of threes" ... decisions. of course.
-- make a choice. you can't have your final and eat it too.

diagnosis-based finals (hopefully clear of STDs)
-- understand a situation or an outcome. or at least be prepared for surprises.
-- identify causes and show how they result in situation. (too much promiscuity?)

evaluation-based finals
-- evaluate performance! really. how good was it? most importantly, would you go back for more?
-- show how performance satisfies/fails to live up to expectations .
-- set up action plan. (like for next time).


good answers include:
1. recommend a decision (go back to your favorite position)
2. identify decision options (from whom do you get to choose)
3. consider decision criteria (hotness, money, personality, etc)
4. proof of recommended option (i.e. proof that he/she is legal)
5. critique of other options (why are turned-down options inferior to chosen pursuit?)
6. action plan (how on earth are you going to get said-pursuit in bed?)

• outlines goal. goal can be simple (i.e. to sleep with intended target) or more involved. bottom line: know her baggage beforehand.
• it is a plan, not a list (duh) ... like personality faults. get over it. you aren't having sex with her personality anyway.
• has both short-term and long-term steps (do you really want to date her? or just sleep with her?)
• are these hard? (puurrrr) or easy? (roar!)
  
• summarize desired end state (i.e. sleep with, date, marry, etc)
• identifies most significant risk (pregnancy?)
  

remember:
-- be realistic. if you're not attractive, you can't sleep with a super-hot girl. rule of 2.
-- if there is a hot girl in the bar, you can't hit on her and your date. pick one dude.
-- most importantly, never -- ever -- forget to use course CONtraCEPTionS.