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just thought i'd share. keep reading below.

oh my g-d. we're naked.

i imagine that if the story of adam and eve in the garden of eden is true, the protagonists' fall from grace -- and realization that they were naked -- must have sounded something like that.

so after my own personal 9-month fall from grace, the best i can offer is:

oh my g-d. i'm naked too.

as i sat among admitted students in the infamous courtroom of this unheard of law school in boston, i had a moment that can best be explained and understood if described as a "daniela" experience: it was this energizing rejuvenation ... laced with elements of a toxic panic attack.

despite the fact that this year has been extraordinarily devastating (at best), i undeniably love academia. i love the transference of knowledge through passion. i love the compelling debate that challenges life's most basic premises. and i love the fact that i can claim i'm exhausted after sitting on my ass for seven hours.

and so, as i sat there, i realized that starting my law school education this coming fall will require me to exercise the skill that has been most tested of me this year -- and in spite of all the practice i've had, remains my greatest achilles heel:

letting go.

my return to education has been defined by "letting go." i've had to let go of my better-half significant other. i've had to let go of formerly prominent self-confidence. i've had to let go of parts of my impenetrable relationship with my family. and not without notice, i've had to let go of the notion of a reliable source of getting some action.

i think that for me, letting go is the most challenging part of growing up.

i'm smart (or at least i once was). i'm a relentless over-achiever (and have a shirt that says so). i'm unimaginably determined and unapologetically stubborn (less unimaginably if you've ever lived with me). and as a result of these uncompromising self-imposed policies, i'm also rather risk adverse.

so letting go -- of people or perceptions -- is profoundly disconcerting. not so much because letting go requires something new; but rather because letting go demands that we separate ourselves from our established comfort zone. which would be fine if my comfort zone included being naked ... but is actually a space about the size of a 60'' x 80'' mattress.

i presume that change is part of the twenty-something experience. letting go of childish wants for adult aspirations. of unrealistic ambitions for attainable goals. of text book learning for real world experience. of frat parties for wine & cheese socials.

and of the things that most comfort us for the opportunity to grow into our own skin.

as i start law school, i am prepared to let go again. let go of the cynicism, doubt, and insecurity that business school has "inspired" within me this year.

if law school wants to break me down too, it's got to do the job itself. no freebies from the business school. (trust me: business school doesn't give away anything free.)

and this time, i'm ready to put up a good fight ... naked.