for me, vegas is a vacation from being overinhibited, in the highly overinhabited yet uninhabitable city of complete uninhibition. --tammy bloemzaken

it seems appropriate that so close to my two year blog anniversary, this post is written while nursing a detoxification from a two-day food, alcohol, and social binge in the wholesome city of las vegas.

after all, if any place marries together the themes of being twenty-something -- doing good and being bad; getting up and going down; religious conviction (i.e. oh g-d, do that again) and godless pursuits; being old enough but sufficiently immature; and straddling the hurdle between knowing the right decision and making the wrong one anyway -- it's sin city.

for those of you whole are too important to read the details of this reflection, i'll give the summary up front. in short:

• the only reason i made my flight out was because it was delayed.
• i blacked out on friday night. but only after winding up on my back in the hotel hallway and visiting a lobby trashcan.
• i have an unaccounted for bump on my right knee.
• saturday involved a football filled with 3 cans of redbull and a quarter handle of vodka. and a purple inner tube.
• i kicked a little kid in the head.
• the only reason i made my flight back was because i was too hungover to oversleep.
• oh yeah ... and i had to go through extra groping super screening security at the airport because the guard thought my driver's license photo was terrible.

i'm not sure whose idea it was to go to vegas. but however it happened, i wound up going with a handful of people i know from work, meeting up with a handful of people i know from school, and trying to get fondled by a handful of people i didn't know at all.

as i was doing the country's largest ultimate walk of shame -- going through security in the las vegas airport -- i realized that one of the biggest struggles during this season of my twenty-nothing reality series is not really having a core group of friends like i had in college.

you know: the ones with whom you said "what are we doing for dinner tonight?" instead of "do you want to do dinner tonight?" and "fuck me" instead of "fuck you." i think of it as being a social floater; gabe thinks of it as leaving-one's-options-open-for-a-better-opportunity-to-present-itself.
i mean, i have some truly incredible friends. but we're not exclusive.

i thought my relatively new business-school-imposed floater status was a punishment for not having a background in private equity or investment banking. but it turns out that most of the unattached graduate students i know echo this social situation. i would argue that it fundamentally makes the twenty-something experience a more solitary transformation of self-discovery as it allows for an iterative process of redefining oneself. and it goes without saying that it perpetuates a lot of masturbation.

i don't mean to impose anymore meaning on a set of 36-hours than it justly deserves, but in reflecting on the few moments i remember from the weekend, part what made this trip such a milestone of accomplishment wasn't the self-stamina necessary for continual debauchery. or the self-control in gambling. or the self-imposed spontaneity. (which, you must admit is a huge success for aforementioned control freak.)

for me, what made this trip a remarkable feat in my own development was reaching outside my comfort zone and still having unfiltered, uninhibited, and unadulterated (albeit not necessarily un-adultery-ated) fun.

and i think that in the end, it's the random
acts of kindness
groups of people
opportunities to grow up despite growing (and going) down, that ultimately define the twenty-nothing experience.

in an effort to use this forum to both complain about being me sans using capital letters in addition to educating our (mine and oprah's) most loyal readers, this installment of information is about the effects of new media on our generation.

... and a post-hoc twenty-nothing analysis.

http://www.onrec.com/newsstories/17612.asp

Employers use Facebook for further background checks

07/18/2007
- 20% of employers use "social networking" sites to run searches on job applicants
- 68% of employers use search engines to check on candidates

More and more firms are using internet social networking websites to perform checks on potential employees, according to financial services recruiter Joslin Rowe.

In a survey of employers, 20% said they had used sites such as Friends Reunited and MySpace to run searches on job applicants at some stage during the recruitment process. The sites give users the opportunity to post and share information about themselves, and an increasing number of recruiters are going online to assess the suitability of candidates and for 'character checks.' 68% professed to using search engines such as Yahoo! and Google, while 60% explored blogs.

As the popularity of these websites increases, they are expected to become an even more common tool for hiring new recruits. Membership levels are particularly high amongst younger people and this has not escaped the notice of employers seeking to fill graduate roles. Around 65% of university students have a Facebook account for instance, a site which has grown dramatically over the past year. Facebook currently boasts over 3.5million users in the UK compared with 500,000 in October 2006. A third of those who have joined MySpace - the largest social website driven by user-generated content - are aged between 18 and 34.

Tara Ricks, Managing Director of Joslin Rowe’s permanent recruitment business, says: "The research may worry some candidates -- particularly those who bare all on their web pages. But they should not panic. Most employers looking at these sites are not trying to catch applicants out, but trying to get a better picture of a person overall or find out things that a piece of paper can't say. It's important to remember that firms want rounded individuals and people who’ll fit in, and social networking sites can be a good source of information about someone’s interests and how outgoing they are.

While employers may be able to discover new things about prospective employees - that there isn’t room to say on a CV - going online is no substitute for meeting a candidate face-to-face. Experience, interviews and psychometric testing will continue to count for anything else when applying for a position. It might seem like Big Brother is watching but the best advice has to be to relax and be yourself. If you are in the market for a new job it does make sense to make sure there is nothing online that you would not be entirely comfortable for your prospective employer to see. Don’t get caught in flagrante delicto."

THE TOP TEN BIGGEST BLUNDERS
Joslin Rowe warns that it is not only prejudiced views and antisocial behaviour that can create unfavourable first impressions in the minds of recruiters. Seemingly innocuous things like silly email addresses can lead to a black mark against a candidate’s name.

However, there are many positive attributes employers are hoping to find in their background searches. Employers are looking for evidence of job skills, career history, a range of interests, strong writing skills, as well as other qualities and characteristics such as a confident and friendly personality (see Table 1).

Top ten turn-offs for employers on social networking websites

1. References to drug abuse
2. Extremist / intolerant views, including racism, sexism
3. Criminal activity
4. Evidence of excessive alcohol consumption
5. Inappropriate pictures, including nudity
6. Foul language
7. Links to unsuitable websites
8. Lewd jokes
9. Silly email addresses
10. Membership of pointless / silly groups

a quick reflection on twenty-nothing in comparison to the above list:
1. i don't do 'em, but i know someone who does
2. extreme, sure. intolerant? only of snobs.
3. acquitted
4. check
5. check, but not of me
6. only in good taste
7. see link to "domestic porn"
8. naturally
9. ummm...?
10. i wouldn't be a new media expert without it

well ... for an overachiever, 9 out of 10 ain't bad.

the funny thing about coming home to an empty apartment far removed from the city i'm supposed to call home is the eagerness to find strength and comfort in the little things.

as i was putting away laundry tonight, i realized that my summer subset of my unnecessary large t-shirt collection in cambridge -- as anyone would do the same -- includes my very favorites. but what struck me about the pile of overworn shirts is how the small stack represents the things i hold most dear.

a quick inventory includes my:
wash u senior t-shirt,
business school section c t-shirt,
harvard law t-shirt,
"i-heart-pro-choice-boys" t-shirt,
and
hooters: boca raton. (naturally)

experts in the field of helping individuals without adequate coping mechanisms (like myself and my siblings) adapt to college argue that while transitions provide opportunities for personal growth, success vs. failure can often be attributed to the mere presence of having something familiar onto which to hold. it's the aforementioned strength and comfort.

and we all like to have familiar objects around us, especially if we're feeling anxious. or horny.

in an effort to surround myself with the familiar, a few weeks ago, i went down to the city of angels to see two (and a half) of my best friends from college -- neither of whom i've seen since one got married over a year ago.

the two are great.

spi is well ... still spi.

after a weekend of margaritas, posh santa monica bars, shopping, chocolate molten lava cakes, and more shopping, we were saying our goodbyes at the airport when i realized something i knew would come in handy for this blog. (and i said so at the time.)

much to the dismay of my forthcoming straight-out-of-college law school friends (sma), i am adamant about the notion that there is a fundamental change that happens during the year after one graduates from college.

sometime between the age of 22 and 23 is the true entree into the real twenty-something experience.

i can't quite put my finger on the pulse of the transformative experience, but it's when i realized that "see you in the morning" doesn't mean "let's meet at 3am." that getting dressed up doesn't mean putting on a clean pair of jeans. that cooking dinner doesn't involve a hotpot or ramen noodles. and that not having sex every night is relatively normal.

relatively.

indeed, in the three years since we had hugged goodbye after graduation (come to think of it, i only hugged jamie and ilana; i left st. louis cursing spi for a fight we never reconciled ... and never needed to), we had certainly changed.

we all wear our hair a little differently. put on makeup in the morning. and talk about grown up things like cleaning, paying rent, and work. our dynamic had definitely matured with our newfound consideration of the words we chose to express ourselves (they more than i).

but between jamie's boy troubles, ilana's cursing as she waited impatiently in line, and my inappropriate sexual innuendos, i realized that as much as things had changed, some things never would.

and 3000 miles away from my close friends, potential hook ups, and bamboo plant (not all mutually exclusive), it was exactly the familiar source of strength and comfort i needed.

when i'm walking around with my ipod, i imagine i'm in a movie with my life's soundtrack playing in the background.

"don't lie."

you do too.

in "a moment like this," the urgency of my ipod dying would not be nearly as severe if apple hadn't released the iphone this week. or if i stood by the steadfast family mantra -- to not, under any circumstance, exercise regularly. or if i actually held one single music file on my own computer.

but alas, the recent iphone release means waiting just to walk inside an apple store. and i went against the family when i decided i would get in shape this summer ... meaning i need blondie and U2 to "get down and break a sweat."

and, well, simba-the-ipod hasn't been updated since right before my divorce because my ipod's homebase was my ex's computer.

mouth to mouth might not save my ipod; i, however, remain open to the prospect of oral resuscitation.

as this past week, the "4th of july," would have been our four-year anniversary (an unnamed friend remarks: common little matey -- maybe it's time to move on?), i'm searching hard to find something witty to say. but just like my ipod, the mechanism responsible for projecting something worth listening to and audible at the same time seems to be broken.

and so as i try to figure out how to save simba-the-ipod's music while struggling to figure out who i am as a single twenty-something, maybe losing access to my ex's music is another step in the process of learning to stand on my own feet.

and i guess in all fairness, i did get the kids cats.

when summer comes around every year, i long for some sort of reprieve from the overachieving, overwhelming, and overcommitted life to which i subscribe from september to may. and every july, despite my attempts to grow up, i find myself wishing i was at camp.

i have rolled my eyes (you have too) at the countless renditions of "summer lovin'" duets inevitable at karaoke bars and talent shows, but i must admit that there is something magical that happens during the summer.

maybe it's the sunshine.
(or in my case, the fake tanning.)
maybe it's laid back attitude.
(or in my case, the less anal-retentive one.)
most likely, it's the skimpy outfits that females believe the heat entitles them to wear.
(which is fundamentally just not my case.)

for the majority of my childhood, i went to sleepaway camp in maine and was then a counselor for a day camp in miami. i'm not sure who thought it was a good idea to leave 20-30 pre-teenagers in my care each summer, but i can proudly assure you that more than one 10 year-old learned the word "fuck" under my supervision.

once my college career center told me that being a camp counselor would not help me get into my aspired flavor of graduate schools, i began doing what america's youth, i.e. monica lewinsky, does best: internships.

(on a side note, we would be doing a lot of people a favor if we shipped off CEOs and lawyers to relay races and water slides every summer. that said, the naturally ensuing harvard competitiveness at business school's friendly section olympics allegedly turned into four black eyes, one broken ankle, and 20 people puking twinkies. so camp-asshole will need to figure out how to keep aforementioned executives from hurting each other.)

and after a few years of pretending to be a professional -- where summer meant letting interns attempt the work that i should have been doing, being a student again means that i'm back on the internship circuit -- attempting to do work that the much more qualified adults should probably be doing.

don't get me wrong: internships are incredibly valuable. you get the inside(r trading) scoop on a company, a network of professionals who love to talk about themselves, and access to a cadre of other interns who are equally as eager, confused, and (professionally and sexually) frustrated.

so what has been refreshing for me this summer is that the inherent internship aggravation has been trumped by the realization that working for this small-search-engine-company-you've-probably-never-heard-of is actually a bit more like the being at summer camp.

for all the perks -- being paid to live in a city with flawless weather and gorgeous men, working out in a upscale gym, eating free healthy food for three (often four or five) meals a day, and doing some work to advance the company as long as it doesn't interfere with my fun-regimen -- there are obvious draw backs.

for instance, there is no beer pong table. or dance revolution supernova machine 50 feet from my office (editor's correction: installed this week). or on-site manicurist.

i suppose that even first-world countries are plagued with third-world features.

i mean, i did compete in the company's bbq cookoff this week, work behind the scenes in an industrial kitchen (which was arguably better than any orgasm i have ever had), and flirt with some chefs to better understand food pairings and flavor layers. but really, i still have no idea how i'm going to advance the projects i'm assigned to complete before the end of summer.

but honestly, summer interns are notoriously useless.

and i practiced uselessness all year in business school.

so i'm just doing to do what i do best: sport some cleavage. flirt. underpromise and overdeliver.